I’m meeting up with her today…to have her meet another man
Yes she wants another man; even though she loves me as well, she acknowledges that she can’t have both and chooses him over me.
Now, as much as I feel like the most friend-zoned man and still feel like the most rejected person, I’m not gonna be immature about it. All I want is for her to be happy. Alex has made me happy enough and helped me out through my rough Summer, and I feel I need to help return the favor in giving her the man she deserves. I don’t ever wish to be that snarky ex-boyfriend or competitor because I’ve never been in a situation where I wasn’t chosen over someone else due to something being my own fault. If I sound like I wanna take a woman from her current or sought after man, it’s gonna make her feel bad. I don’t need to make others feel bad, that is not my thing. I want to improve others’ feelings and lives to an extent.
With that said, I don’t know if I want to date anymore. Plain and simple. It might even be years before I partake in loving someone again. Love escaped me as my degree was beginning its working progress. I’m willing to put more effort into college than I ever did in high school. Make me summa or magna cum laude. That’s how serious I want to be. By the end of this overhaul, I’ll get an internship and a job that starts at $50,000/yr and work my way up to a six-figure salary maybe five years later. I may come off as greedy, but it’s for doing something I thoroughly enjoy. It’s the greatest gift I can ask for. I feel love would be a distraction of sorts, but I could be wrong, too. Maybe a woman will come my way and support me. For now, though, I am not pleasing anybody but myself. The CIS degree will be mine come May 2018, and CSU-Pueblo will be long cherished.